I’ve read many dating tips over my life and they are always about, don’t do this and don’t do that, smile, don’t seem desperate, etc. What I have learnt is that even the worst date can end in marriage and even the best date can end with a break up. So, I ask, why is that? As a woman in her thirties, never been married and have performed all the dating tips to perfection, I’ve made a new set of tips for people who are interested in making a real connection with someone, that’s worked for me. Here are my new and improved, five tips for dating.
One. Get to know someone.
Whether you’ve met via online dating or at work, get to know someone a little before dating. Ask them questions like what do they like to do on the weekend, their favourite restaurants, parks, sports etc. Get to know their values and morals. If you are religious and the person you want to date isn’t then you will need to know if you’re ok with that.
If you have met online and are getting to know someone, organise to meet up relatively early. Meeting someone will enable you to see if they are the person for you fairly quickly and to see if there is a bit of a spark.
Planning the meet up even if it is just for a coffee or an evening meal, will make the event easier on both of you. It will reduce the stress of where to go, what to eat, how to get there and what to wear. Choose somewhere you know the other person will like but where you also feel comfortable. If you are a hamburger type of person and you have booked a 5 star restaurant with 3 forks, this may add extra stress and won’t represent who you really are.
This is where a Personal Concierge comes in! They will organise all the small details so you can relax and enjoy your special occasion.
Three. Be yourself.
Select a place that is you, wear clothes that you feel comfortable in, if you have an opinion you want to share then go for it. The other person wants to get to know you as you do them so the best way to do it is be yourself. This is the quickest way to find out if the person is for you. Don’t feel judged if they don’t want to go on another date again, it just means they were not the one for you. In my mother’s words, “If it's meant to be, it's meant to be!”
Be aware of the other person and how they are responding to the evening. If you are ok with the 5 star dining but the other person looks uncomfortable help them to relax and enjoy the evening too.
Take a moment to see how you feel about dating the person again and be respectful to their decision on further dating. Sometimes it's just a friendship that will be formed.
Five. Have Fun!
Essentially dating is about getting out and meeting people. So enjoy that time spent with someone who has had a different life and experienced many different things.
Even if the evening turns out to be no good, be grateful, it could have always been worse!